You're included in the plan just not in the planning ;)

This past Thursday I did something spontaneous- while many people have a spontaneous lifestyle- many, like myself don't (often) do things that are not carefully planned, thoroughly thought out and meticulously executed. I am for the lack of a better shape, fairly squared, and like to be confident in knowing all the details of a plan, so when the boy I'm seeing made a plan to meet up with his best friend and his girlfriend from 4-7pm I went along. Little did I know then that we were going to run behind schedule by a few hours and there was more to be done, such as great conversations, and a 10pm drive to Venice Beach for dinner to meet up with another of their friends.

The idea was a spontaneous one I thought, but since I am currently unemployed, and had only one morning commitment, I went along. (Had this happened on most other days, I doubt I would have.) We then stayed at his friend's penthouse along Venice Beach- all in all a moment of spontaneity that I was proud to participate in! Well, on the beautiful morning drive back on the PCH we talked about what a great time we had with his friends and I made a remark about the spontaneity of it all. Just then he looked at me with that half smile that always means my reaction could go either way, either I'll laugh or be bugged about whatever he'll say next, and he said to me, "I'm glad you came along, this was the original plan, but I wasn't sure you'd come so I didn't tell you."

I smiled. I had a great time all in all, and to be honest, had I had a heads up maybe I would have thought a 10pm trip to Venice Beach for dinner wouldn't make a lot of sense- but maybe I would have.

Now I am in an interesting part of life, looking for a job, but also enjoying very fully different parts of life and really enjoying the time I do spend with people in my life. I am in one of those exciting/ nerve wracking periods of figuring out what I'm doing next. My faith has always been strong because whenever I have had these moments of suspension, the resolutions or outcomes of getting to the next step have ALWAYS been far better than anything I could plan or imagine. I think this faith at this time requires trust but also the willingness to pursue that spontaneity, because great things come of it. As I think, plan and seek what comes next, I can easily imagine getting there- and God smiling a little as he says; "I'm glad you came along, this was the original plan, but I wasn't sure you'd come so I didn't tell you."

I wouldn't mind a Mercedes

In fact, I wouldn't mind the Mercedes-Benz Kompressor SLK250, however if I dont get it, I wouldn't mind.

I was thinking about this today when I took a break from work, and walked around the corner for some coffee. The sun was falling down, it was warm but not hot, the air was clean, the sky was a perfect blue. I am fortunate to live in a gorgeous and safe place. After having watched 'A mighty heart' I remember, that many many places are really just crappy. I don't mean that with an air of condecendance, but rather an immense thankfulness for the opportunity to be here, and most importantly to be conscious of what a gift it is to be here.

I'm someone who is often concerned about issues of a wider scope, and without a doubt to me global and national poverty should be our number one concern. The only relief in all the theories I have heard about 'why poverty exists' is not an explanation or an excuse, but rather an uplifting concept. In the documentary, 'Ten Questions for the Dali Lama', he explains that rich people are not happy, because they always want more. However, the poorest of the poor, once they have attained food for that day, and know where they will sleep, generally they find joy in vastly simpler things. And that joy is one that millionares cannot experience because of their continuous concern for more. This thought has appeased me...not to say I am not concerned, but rather, I learn and remind myself of what matters.

I am however, especially lucky, surronded by my family and a few best friends, and have found in my community support for growth, 'belonging' and whatever else one might need to grow. The least I owe to each of these people, I think, is to be a person whose goal is to give back and leave this place a little better than it is today. Sounds simple, and I am sure when the time comes, I will face the challenges I must to achieve such a goal.